-->

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

11 Things Every Woman Thinks on Tinder Dates

1. If this sucks, I'm leaving in an hour. 

Maybe I should set an alarm and label it, "Are you having fun, Lane? Really? Be honest."

2. Even if this is horrible, at least I can tell all my friends while they give me pitying looks. And then they'll say things like, "Ugh, I do not miss being single," and I'll be like, "I know!" and then we'll all get drunk. Not bad. 

3. What if this is seriously The One and then one day, we're like "And we met on Tinder. I know, lame, right?" But then what we really do is look at each other adoringly because awwww, modern love.

4. He looks exactly like/nothing like his photos. 

This is such a relief/gigantic disappointment for which I wish I could sue him.


5. Is he a murderer or am I just finally meeting a good one? 

He's wearing a dope suit with a cool tie, is actually employed by a place that doesn't sound made up, and he's reasonably funny. He's either killed people or he's my soul mate. No other options exist.

6. Yep, that explains why this guy is on Tinder. 

Vaguely sexist views on women and the belief that all his exes are "crazy"? Should've swiped left, dickmunch. 

7. If we hadn't met on Tinder, I wonder if we would've ever met any other way. Like maybe at the supermarket if I literally ever stopped staring at cookies and imagining how great it would be to eat them.

8. I'm so glad I messaged him even though he was making pseudo-duckface in one of his photos. I might actually want to, dare I say it, see him again. Holy shit, it's happening. The Tinder second date. Alert the media, as I thought this was a myth.

9. If we went back to my place, I wonder how soon I could get him to go down on me. I don't know, sometimes you just have a craving for it like pizza or reruns of Family Matters.

10. How do I communicate to him that I just want his penis inside me for tonight and to never see him again ever? Or the other side of that coin...

11. How do I tell him that I'm not hoping we bang in the alley behind this bar and then never speak again? Because um, yeah. Not my #goals.

1 comment:

  1. hey,
    my bf and I were in a relationship for 4 years.
    and he I caught him cheating with another girl for 2 months. I was devastated. and I was in such a mental condition, that I called his parents up and said everything. I pleaded him and asked him what went wrong in our relationship. but he denied to tell me anything. he said he want breakup. and his new gf called me up each day and abused me verbally. I was trying to move on. but the love i have for him was too much. i was frustrated. looking for help to get my bf back one day looking on my internet i come across a product of a page and graphic of love spell on how to get ex back,stop your husband for cheating, restored broken marriage and stop divorced also get your wife back. so i have no choice coz i love my bf and i want him back from that woman i directly give a contact on this product graphic page, and to the promise of it,after the love spell my bf call me,text me and i I replied him as I would never accept him. but he continues begging seeking for apology. for what he did to me, meanwhile my bf sends me friend requests on Facebook… and calls me up the other day.and i respond to him, with this i was so very happy that my bf really change for the bad he was to see me back as his only one gf so that is how i gave him another chance? all thanks to this product page and graphic love spell coz it really help and work for me i promise to keep sharing his page if you have any similar problem as my, have a hard time of getting your ex bf back, ex gf back, save your marriage home, i will advise you to try this same, on Dr happy product page and graphic love spell directly on his email
    happylovespell2@gmail.com
    Web site:http://happyspelltemple.webs.com/
    or add him on whats-app +2348133873774
    Jewel Carol from Atlanta Georgia

    ReplyDelete